In the Clan of the Crazies
by The Awesomeness of Moosey
Summary: A stray mother, abandoned from her Twoleg owners, comes to ThunderClan in search of a home. Bluestar, in her crazy state, accepts her and her 7 kittens without question. How will Fireheart deal with the kittens when he finds out they are all insane?
1. AN

**Summary: Set around the time of "Rising Storm" the fourth Warriors book, just after Fireheart's become deputy. A stray mother, abandoned from her Twoleg owners, comes to ThunderClan in search of a home. Bluestar, in her crazy state, accepts her and her 7 kittens without question. How will Fireheart deal with the kittens when he finds out they are all insane??**

**Background: I am fostering a litter of 7 kittens and their mother and this story is based upon them. You rock little kitties!**

**Thanks: Thank you Fireheart for letting me drive you insane! And thank you Sassy for letting me use your kittens in this fanfic.**

ThunderClan

Leader: Bluestar

Deputy: Fireheart

Apprentice- Cloudpaw

Medicine Cat: Yellowfang

Apprentice- Cinderpelt

Warriors:

Whitestorm

Apprentice- Brightpaw

Darkstripe

Apprentice- Fernpaw

Longtail

Apprentice- Swiftpaw

Runningwind

Mousefur

Apprentice- Thornpaw

Brackenfur (the most awesome cat evvver!! Please see my fanfic on him, "Ask Brackenfur")

Dustpelt

Apprentice- Ashpaw

Sandstorm

Apprentices:

Fernpaw

Ashpaw

Swiftpaw

Brightpaw

Thornpaw

Queens:

Frostfur

Brindleface

Willowpelt

Speckletail

Goldenflower

Sassy

Kits:

Bramblekit

Tawnykit

Sorrelkit

Rainkit

Sootkit

Snowkit

Catherine

Sara

Sophie

Grissum

Nick

Greg

Warrick

Elders:

Halftail

One-eye

Patchpelt

Dappletail

Smallear

**Enjoy the story.**

**While there's still enough waffles of it.**

**-Moosey**


	2. ThunderClan's Insanity

Chapter 1- ThunderClan's Insanity

Fireheart padded over to the fresh-kill pile and picked up a rabbit. He dragged it over to the warrior's den so he could share it with Sandstorm. She came by and hissed, "Is that for me?"

"Yup." Fireheart answered happily.

"I can get my own food!!" She spat. She hissed and rolled over on her back, and kept rolling until she rolled out of camp, on top of Brackenfur, Fernpaw, and Darkstripe.

Fireheart stared after her in surprise. _Was every cat in this Clan crazy? Could it get any crazier?_

Yes, yes it could.

Bluestar poked her head out of her den. "Heyyyy, Fireheart. Come in here."

Fireheart squinched up his eyes and said, "Um, Bluestar, have you been eating Yellowfang's store of poppyseeds again?"

Bluestar hiccupped and then collapsed in a snoring heap.

Fireheart shrugged and walked over. He pushed his delirious leader to her paws and tucked her into her den.

"Oakheart!" She sang sleepily in her dreams. "Ohhh, Oakheart. You shouldn't have. You know I'm allergic to Chocolates. Flowers? For me? Ohhh, Oakheart."

Scared, Fireheart backed out of the den.

"FIREHEART!!" Fireheart's ears folded under and he crouched shivering as Yellowfang barreled out of her clearing.

"WHERE IS MY FOOOOOD!" She roared.

"I was going to bring it to you, honest!" Fireheart squeaked.

Yellowfang stared at him, and then swiped her tongue over her fur to smooth out its ruffles. "That's okay, Fireheart. I'll get it."

Fireheart shuffled out of her path, freaked out by her mood swings.

Breathing deeply to calm himself, Fireheart backed all the way into the Warrior's den, where Whitestorm was sharing tongues with Mousefur.

"Hi, Fireheart. Do you want me to go on the morning patrol?" Whitestorm asked kindly.

Fireheart let out a gust of relief. "Finally! Something normal is happening to me. Sure Whitestorm. Why don't you go with Brightpaw and Longtail?"

"Longtail's training Swiftpaw tomorrow morning." Whitestorm replied.

"_Longtail's training Swiftpaw tomorrow morning_." Mousefur suddenly mocked.

"Stop mocking me!" Whitestorm growled.

"_Stop mocking me_!"

Whitestorm sat up and then exclaimed, "I'm an idiot!"

"_You're an idiot_!"

They leapt at each other and both of them were suddenly fighting ferociously.

"Never mind." Fireheart sighed.

"Fireheart!" Cinderpelt called from the clearing.

Fireheart emerged from the den to find Cinderpelt sunbathing.

"Get me some fresh spring water on a piece of the greenest moss you can find."

"But-but." Fireheart spluttered. "Shouldn't you be healing cats?"

"So Thornpaw keeps getting thorns in his paws, what _ev_?"

"At least say please!"

"No."

Fireheart growled but he couldn't find it in his heart to argue with a cat that could never fully heal from a bad leg injury. "Ok…"

"FIREHEART!!" Yellowfang shouted.

"Fireheart!" Bluestar yowled.

"Fireheart!" Cinderpelt complained.

"Awwww…." Fireheart groaned.

Little did he know, it was going to get a lot worse.

A/N: Okay, so I _really _exaggerated every single cat in the clan. But it was fun. Yellowfang was really fun to do.


	3. Great StarClan, NO MORE KITTIES!

Chapter 2- Great StarClan, NO MORE KITTIES

Fireheart just _had _to get away from camp. Every single cat had gone mad!  
He was pacing in a clearing, trying to figure out what exactly had happened to he clan. A brown squirrel was breaking a nut under the shade of a tree, but Fireheart was so hyped up he barely noticed. Finches hooted as the swooped through the eggshell blue sky and Sandstorm rolled past.

Fireheart lay down and peered up at the sky. "Oh, StarClan. What do you want me to do? I'm not sane enough for _all _of them."

Suddenly the sweet, sweet scent of Spottedleaf wafted into his nose. Delighted, he jumped to his paws and called, "Spottedleaf?"  
The beautiful tortoiseshell stepped out of the shade of the trees, and her pelt glimmered.

"Fireheart! I bring a message for you from StarClan."

"Oh, that's great…" Fireheart mumbled.

"What's wrong?" Spottedleaf cocked her head to the side.

"Well, it's just that whenever I get a prophecy, something bad happens. But this time it's something good right? Something that will keep me from losing my mind?"  
Spottedleaf stared blankly at him, opened her mouth to speak, and then shook her head.

"Oh, no! What is it?"  
"8 cats will arrive at ThunderClan. Give them a home, and one day one of them shall lead the clan."

"Oh, Great StarClan. NO MORE KITTIES!!"  
"I'm sorry Fireheart." Spottedleaf said, but she was laughing.

Fireheart swung around and ran suddenly from the clearing. "I can't deal with this. 8 more cats! But maybe…maybe…they won't be insane. Maybe Spottedleaf was wrong, and I will be able to stay sane." He looked up and spat, "Great, now I'm talking to myself! I'm going crazy!"

LATERS

That night, Fireheart was settling into bed next to Sandstorm, who was still rolling around, but this time in a circle.

"Oh, Sandstorm. If only you weren't so crazy. Then maybe you'd love me."

"What did you say, walrus lover?"  
"What?" Fireheart asked dumbfounded, but Sandstorm was already asleep, leaving Fireheart to wonder what the heck a walrus was.

Suddenly a call sounded from the gorse tunnel. "Fireheart, Fireheart!"

"What _now_?" Fireheart hissed, heaving himself to his paws. He ran outside of the Warrior's den and rushed to the camp entrance to find Brackenfur standing by a she-cat whose tabby fur was…beautiful.  
"Why, hello." Fireheart said, smoothing down his fiery fur in an attempt to appear debonair.

"Hello." The she-cat said. She smelled of a loner…and a kittypet?

"Hi, I am Fireheart. What brings you to ThunderClan?" He asked, smoothly.

"I'm Sassy. My, my Twoleg abandoned me, on the side of the street, and I had to find a new home. First I went to a nice barn cat named Barley…"

"I know him!" Fireheart exclaimed.

"Yes, well, Barley found my kits…very enthusiastic. Too, um, hyper for the barn, and so he basically kicked us out. Would you help us?"  
"Wait, there's kits?" Fireheart asked, and all of a sudden, seven tiny heads poked out from behind Sassy.

The prophecy!! It was coming true. But he had to welcome them to ThunderClan, because StarClan commanded it of him. And Sassy came along with the package!!

"Errr, well, sure, I guess." Fireheart said. "What do we have here?" He crooned.

"Well, that's Sara, Sophia, and Catherine. And then there's Grissum, Greg, Nick, and Warrick."

_What strange names. They need Clan names immediately. _"Hello little kits."  
Catherine, a tabby, bounded up to him and looked him in the eye. "Are you the leader of this joint?"  
"Well, there is this other cat, but she's kind of knocked out right now…"

"Then I shall rule you with an iron fist!!" Catherine yowled, her blue eyes flashing fiercely.

"Oh, silly Catherine." Sassy purred. She came up to Fireheart and whispered, "She has some crazed idea of taking over the forest. Hah! Kids."

Suddenly, Fireheart leapt a mile high. When he came back down to the ground, he saw what had surprised him. A tiny black kit, the one Sassy had named Greg, had inserted his sharp teeth into his left front paw. Fireheart snatched his paw away from the cat. "If you want to eat, go to your mother!"

Greg stared back at him and then flipped over on his back, before taking wobbly steps back to his mother.

Suddenly Sara and Sophia were flying through the air. "WHHHEEE!" They cried, dropping "bombs" on Fireheart's head.

"EW!" He spat. "We have a dirt tunnel, over there, you know!"

"WHHHEEEE!!" They cried.

"FOOOOOOOD!!" A voice suddenly called through the dark.

"NO, NO, No, Yellowfang, these are kittens. Not fresh-kill!"

Yellowfang trotted up to Warrick and yowled. "GET IN MY BELLY!!"  
Warrick glared up at Yellowfang and said, "I know 17 forms of judo, and I am a black belt at Kung-fu. Think carefully before you eat me." Then he pulled a lightsaber from his utility belt and turned it on. All the other kits went, "ooooohhhh" and gathered around the shiny stick.

"HI-yah!" Warrick screamed, slicing off Yellowfang's whiskers.

Sassy scolded, "Warrick! What did I say about lightsabering after moonhigh?"

"That I can't, mama." Warrick squeaked.

"So don't." Sassy commanded.

"Yes, mama."

Fireheart walked up to Sassy and said, "So…are you doing anything Friday night?"

Suddenly 7 tiny bodies sprang at him.

"GET HIM!"  
"HE'S HITTING ON MAMA!"  
"WARRICK, LIGHTSABER HIM!!"  
Fireheart ran away.

"VICTORY!" they screeched.

"Call me!" Sassy cried after Fireheart's fleeing frame.


	4. Fireheart's Alarm Clocks

_Replies to Reviews-_

_Niah-Miyoki__: Thanks!! I'm really glad you like the story!_

_Sparklefly: I'm happy you think so. ._

_Onwards with the story!_

Chapter 3- Fireheart's Alarm Clocks (All 7 of 'em)

Fireheart woke up to the singing styles of the black kitten, Nick.

"_New York, New York_!!" He sang.

Fireheart appreciated his great singing voice for a second before he realized that it wasn't even dawn yet. "What do you think you're doing, waking me up this early?"

Nick looked up at him with wide-blue eyes. "Shoebox."

"What?" Fireheart replied, astounded.

Sassy slinked into the Warrior's den. She had been sleeping in the nursery with the rest of her kits. "It's the only word he says when he's not singing."

"But-but, why?"

"It was his first word."  
Fireheart stared blankly at her. "That's really random."  
Sassy snarled, "Don't patronize my kit, Fireheart!"

Fireheart's eyes sparkled as she fired up. "You're pretty when you're mad…" he drooled.

Sassy peered at him. "Do you still want to do something Friday night?"

Fireheart quickly looked around, but none of the kits were in sight. Even Nick had left.

"Sure!" He said.

10 seconds is all it takes.

"INFILTRATE!"

Suddenly Sara and Sophia flew through the air and landed on his back. "Aerial maneuver 786!" Sara cried. Sophia flew back up and through the top of the Warrior's den. Fireheart stared after her, but she didn't come back through.

Then Greg started eating his paws, and Warrick pulled out a samurai sword. "Battle to the Death!!" He screeched, and flew at Fireheart's belly. Grissum ran inside the den as well and pulled out a red and white Poke ball.

"Charmander, I choose you!" He yowled, and tossed the ball at Fireheart's head. It bounced off and rolled into the middle of the floor.

It stayed there for much a time.

"Wait for it." Grissum urged.

Much a time more.

"Wait for it." He said again.

Suddenly a burst of light and Charmander exploded into the Warriors den. "I shall defeat you in battle and win my Thunder badge!!" Grissum yelled triumphantly.

"Shoeboxxxxx!!" Nick yowled.

"Die! Die!" Warrick called as he batted Fireheart with his tiny sword.

Then Sophia blasted through the top of the Warrior's den again and landed on Fireheart's tail. She clawed at it ferociously, but only succeeded in a little bit of damage.

But it wasn't over yet, Fireheart.

Catherine stumbled clumsily into Fireheart's lap.

"YES! YES!" She shouted. "We have succeeded! We have defeated you in battle. Now feed us food!!"

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD??" Yellowfang yowled from all the way in her clearing.

"I hate Mondays." Fireheart mumbled, and buried his head in his paws.


End file.
